Helping our Kids Make Sense of SO MUCH BAD news!

Of late I’ve been struck by the volume of terrible news our kids have to metabolize every day. It is nothing like when we were growing up. My parents watched the 6:00 news each night and read the New York Times on Sundays; I considered both to be boring and, much to my father’s dismay, I rarely knew or cared about current events. Today you can be worried and outraged 24/7, scrolling from one disturbing tidbit to the next. Most adults can’t handle this and deliberately tune out to protect their sanity; imagine what it must be like for a 15-year-old mind?

So what can we do to protect our kids’ mental health and help them metabolize so many worrying things?

1. Get your kids in the habit of noticing the delightful. Point out a striking sky, the kindness of a stranger, the generous gift from grandma, the beautiful music on the radio. Give them books with vibrant pictures and noble stories. Take them to the museum and point out gorgeous paintings; help them to appreciate the wonder of a woman sculpted out of marble. Give them a steady diet of awe and teach them that constantly feeding on offense will poison their soul. 

   
   

2. This doesn’t mean that we should ignore human suffering or distressing realities like racism. We have to be honest with our kids, in age-appropriate ways, and help them to make sense of all the negative headlines they see. For example, recently a Minnesota woman shouted racial slurs at a 5-year-old Black boy whom she accused of stealing from her diaper bag, and then a GoFundMe was set up – for her, not the boy! The story and the outrage went viral, and my 17-year-old knew about it before I did. It was disturbing to him that a little boy had to deal with so much hate and also that hate was so generously rewarded. (To date, almost a million dollars has been raised for the woman.) It was important for me to be there for him, hearing his thoughts and providing wisdom. I also help both of my kids to pick reliable, relatively unbiased news sources and encourage them to limit their news consumption to once/day. Over dinner, we try to check in with them to see what's on their minds.

   
   

3. If you don’t know about a topic, do some research so that you can show up intelligently for your kids. For example, because of all the conflict in the news over DEI, my younger son brought it up and wanted to understand equity better. I told him that equity means fairness and trying to make sure everyone has access to opportunity. For example, back in the day, only wealthier kids had access to SAT prep courses because they cost a lot of money. As a result, they often received higher scores. But now, many school districts provide free prep courses, so that all kids, regardless of family income, have a better chance of scoring well on the test. He saw that equity is a good thing!

   
   

Parents, find ways to maintain your own sanity and mental health, and also rise to the challenge of being there with wisdom and answers for your kids.

I was asked to write about the Minnesota story here for the Presbyterian News Service.